Blog
together we bounce back
Nov 1
I've spent most of my career in and around pain and injury. Sometimes a cranky body part just couldn't be ignored any longer, but more commonly as the first professional contact after an incident where something went wrong. Both experience and research have clearly shown that those first few moments (and even days) are critically important to the outcome. The balance between assessing the facts of the situation and managing the emotions that tend to go with any incident can be a tightrope. More often than not when calm and logic prevail over panic and fear, things turn out much better.
Last Saturday was shaping up to be a big game. Ranked 3rd, my daughter's team was up against the team sitting 4th. As every rugby fan hopes, it was a battle from the opening kick and things were tense. About 10 minutes into the second half my daughter was tackled in a dangerous (and unfortunately illegal) way which, although didn't seem intentional, was no less risky. It was clear by her body posture and the determination by the trainer, that this was more than a bump or bruise. Of course, the blood was also a solid clue. In one way or another, most parents have been there before. Whether a simple scrape or a high likelihood of a broken nose such as in this case, those close to the situation can easily add to or calm the fear. I tried to show calm as I made my way to the sideline ready to provide logic to a clearly emotional situation. Two new studies out this month have provided greater insight into why this is so important.
First - a team in England tracked children who had experienced a traumatic event (e.g. motor vehicle accident, injury, etc). It showed that the child's perception of the event's severity mattered more than the actual measurable facts. Said more simply, the story we remember (whether it is accurate or not) has significant power over our future health. Pain combined with panic and fear was also a potent predictor. On the positive side, only social support (i.e. CONNECT) had a protective effect...which brings us to the second study.
On the other side of the world, a team in Australia showed that the type of support we have through stress has big implications. In a study of couples where 1 member was navigating a chronic and progressive disease (one of the most challenging known stressors), those who worked closely together to learn and problem-solve the situation (dyadic coping), did far better than those who didn't have the same level of teamwork and support. As it turns out, having someone we can trust there to help us sift through the information was a major benefit. When things go wrong, the people around us matter.
Over the next three days as the emotions settled, my wife and I continued the conversation with our daughter. The two black-eyes were getting some strange looks on campus but we were all happy the signs were pointing in the right direction. It wasn't easy at first to keep the worry of the "the hardest hit she'd ever taken" from lingering but the fact that she was strong, didn't have any major injuries, and was on the mend was assurance. We were happy to see the emotions of the moment be replaced by renewed excitement of getting back out there with her team....maybe even a bit more resilient than before.
Life doesn't always go according to plan. The people around us in those moments are critical voices in how we process them. It is always an honor to play that role. Call us if we can help.
Have a great weekend,
Mike E.